A Letter to My Younger Self

Dear Susanna,

You’re pretty freakin’ awesome.

You are dearly loved by two hard-working immigrant parents. You are loved by a sister that will try and make your birthday special every year. You will have friends to laugh, cry, and get through life with. You will also meet someone special who you’ll have the most fun doing the most mundane things with.

But you will face hardships, too. You’ll soon realize that your family isn’t perfect and that sometimes, you have to be the adult in the family to survive. You will spend countless hours telling yourself things that aren’t true: that you’re worthless, ugly, shameful, and undeserving. You will blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault. People will leave you broken and confused. You’ll struggle to find a place to belong. Growing up won’t be easy, but you are a survivor.

I’m sorry for letting you believe that you are anything but worthy of love. I’m sorry for all the moments I said you were ugly and stupid. I’m sorry for all the times I had you believe that no one could ever accept you as you are. I’m sorry for trying to kill the spark inside you instead of kindling it into a dazzling flame.

I want you to know that you are brilliant, wonderful, funny, and beautiful. You are fierce and resilient. You are fearfully and wonderfully made; you are a masterpiece. I am so proud of who you are and the woman you will become. You are more than enough.

…and most of all, I want you to know that I love you.

 

Sincerely,

Me

 

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